Where do I start with Fire and Stone?  Well I guess, the decor is not bad, uber cool and trendy for a pizza restaurant and on the whole I had a fun evening, but that was purely down to the company of old school friends, and the drinks we had before we arrived.  Other than that, I can’t really think of anything else positive to say about the experience.

Now, I might be a traditionalist when it comes to pizzas, but seriously, if you are going to ‘pimp’ a pizza, try shavings of white truffle or carpaccio of swordfish.  What on earth gave Fire and Stone the idea that Cumin spiced ground lamb and raisins would be nice on a pizza?  Oooh, I know, what about a pizza with Thai green coconut curry sauce, roast sweet potato and mozzarella? Really?

So, once I had amused myself reading through the selection of pizza toppings from Asia, Africa and Australaisa, I came across the European pizzas and was delighted to find some normal-ish choices, the Italian pizzas seemed the most appealing, funnily enough.

As we had a voucher that got us two pizzas for £10, we thought it best to mention this before ordering, incase the pizzas we had chosen were not included.  Well, as you can imagine, this was met with a rather surly glare from the waitress.  “Ugh, you have to give me the voucher first.  You can choose any pizzas as we have taken the deluxe ones off the menu.”  The deluxe ones? Is that where all of the normal pizzas went, off the menu – now I get it!

According to the website, Fire & Stone ‘makes & twice proves its own pizza dough every day on site in the restaurant to provide the lightest & crispiest pizza base possible’ – well, I’m not too sure about that!  Two of us went for pizzas, the base was way too thick, had the consistancy cardboard, and had lots of funny hard black dots on the underside, which I can only assume is burnt semolina and flour- Nice!

The other three went for the healthy option of the superfood salad, which by all accounts was not bad, although they all decided they found it rather too exausting to eat all of the little shoots and nuts at the bottom of their bowl, so left half of it.  Maybe that’s why it’s the healthy option, because you use so much energy forking the little bits out? Who knows…

Then there was another thing that really annoyed me about the menu, one pizza was called the ‘Napoli’ and the other was ‘Florence’ – Is it  Naples and Florence or Napoli and Firenze?  You don’t exactly have to speak Italian to work it out, and surely they had someone proof read their menu before printing  it, right?

Anyway, enough moaning, I can’t even be bothered to write about the wine.

Crap food, crap menu, grumpy staff – even if you have a voucher, don’t waste your money.